No More
by unboundpen
Summary: A reflection of what Artemis feels on her relationship with her father. Prompted on tumblr.


A/N: So, it has been awhile. As I've stated on my tumblr, I've moved (be it that I'm a military kid) back to where I grew up. Yokosuka, Japan. It's great to be back. I actually got the prompt for this fic awhile back, and wrote it on the plane ride back. I'm not sure if I like it or what...but I guess you guys could be the judge of that.

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There were times when she questioned her father's motives. Which was the only time she truly felt like a real kid. Sad really. To most in the assassin business, it just seemed like it was the traditional training that all must go through with their parents. But mixed with the harsh breathing and sweaty drop dead workouts were gentle and encouraging words to get her to push past her mental weaknesses...cause that was all it was, mental blocking and not so much as a physical problem.

_Come on, baby girl, it's all in your head. Don't think you can't do it, because I know you can. It's all muscle memory now._

_O-*huff*-okay, daddy._

When she was almost to the point of tears from frustration or aching too much, he would be there to rub her back soothingly and whisper how proud he was of her fast improvements, sometimes she could accomplish something much faster than Jade (even though they both knew he was lying). Truth be told, she had always looked forward to training sessions with her dad because that was the only time she got to spend time with him.

At least she got to see him before she shut her eyes for dreamland, and that made it hurt less to find out that he was gone in the morning for some assignment.

It was all hard, especially since she hadn't seen her mommy since she was eight-years-old, and Jade was the one that took care of her most of the time.

But it all went downhill after one night when her father came home drunk after another assignment with one of his high paying customers, which was always a bad combination, Lawrence and alcohol. No more did he come home every night to tuck her in, nor did he rasp soothing words during a workout. Along with the intense training came the insults, and degrading comments that did not help whatsoever. The sudden change in demeanor had her mind spinning, especially when Jade left and wasn't there to direct his attention elsewhere.

Artemis' love for her father had always been true, but because of this she had started to like him less and less, up to the point where she snapped when he decided that it wasn't worth staying to even keep up the pretense of being part of a happy family when her mother came home after being released.

_So, you're leaving…just like Jade?_

_You've got Paula, baby girl, there's no need for me to stick around when I have more important business to attend to._

Even now that she was on the team of superheroes, fighting on the side that went against her family's practice, she would often reminisce the sweeter times with her father, which often improved her performance during the training regimen, especially the ones that Batman had coordinated.

But when it came time to facing her father on some of the missions -no doubt he took part in The Light since his multiple appearances was no mere coincidence- she would falter and perform at a sub par level, which she feared would one day jeopardize the mission.

His never ending taunts made more of an impact than his punches, almost to the point where she would tear down silently in her seat on the bioship when everything was all over.

_This is what you've become huh? No wonder, Jade had always been better than you, and look which one of you is fighting alongside me._

_You made your choice, and I made mine._

She would often wonder what had happened, what had caused him to change. He would never have said that to her when she was younger, which is what she had loved about him. He had never compared….

Strong willed and stone faced was the way of the Crocks, and no amount of broken down pride would allow her to descend into a dreary, cold abyss of built up emotion. Only a closed door and a body pillow could remedy that. Only then, when her eyes were blurred, could she picture the happier times. When her sobs echoed throughout the room and all she could do was hug her knees to her chest with her hair splayed around her, only then could she feel the ghost of her father's fingers run through and massage her scalp comfortingly.

Those were the worst of her breakdowns, but, just as the family custom instilled in her, she toughed it out the next day and resumed as if nothing had ever bothered her, and most of the time, it left her mind. She was doing her own training now. She will learn to live without him. She didn't need him. No more….

_Daddy, daddy, don't leave…._

xXx

"Pushing her away isn't doing anything, old man."

"It will, it did. She's with them, isn't she? They can protect her much more than I ever could."


End file.
